These are incoherent thoughts, but they seem appropriate for this cloudy Sunday in early spring.

I spend a lot of time thinking and writing and praying about love, all of which runs the risk of becoming trite and sentimental if I am not grounded in the truth of what love really is. Love is not a feeling, but rather a movement of the will...It is a laying down of one's preferences, one's desires, one's personal comfort - the whole of one's life  - for the good of another person. In the communion of the Trinity, that act of pure self gift is perfectly received and perfectly returned - so what is good for the other is always good for the one who gives. In this life it is not always so...but the more we give wholly of ourselves without concern for the cost, the closer we conform ourselves to Christ and the closer we are drawn into the life of God, Who is a communion of love.

I'm finally starting to understand that I don't get to choose my vocation. God chooses the manner in which He wills me to be consecrated to Him. I don't get to choose the way in which it is best for me to love God, because He planted the seeds of that way deep within my soul in baptism. And it is good - because those seeds are the seeds of eternal life, and they will germinate and grow as I give myself away in the manner He has chosen for me. That way is never what is seems at first...but I desire to keep running towards Him - and to run with the people He puts beside me.

I have always wanted the fullness of eternity now - not accepting that eternity cannot be known fully in time. I have always wanted the perfect, often at the expense of the good. But in the imperfections of this life, and in the incompleteness of human love, I am reminded of my own limitations - I am humbled and drawn back to sit at the feet of the One Who is perfect in every way.

I desire to exclaim - or perhaps whisper - with St. Therese: "...My vocation is love..."

Love never fails. If there are prophesies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away...At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. (1 Corinth 13:8-12, NAB)