In resurrecting the blog, I have been going through my drafts (I have about three times as many drafts as published posts) and came across this one about meeting K. I think I started it a few weeks after we met. So glad that I wrote it! I'll try to finish the story sometime...

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March 2012

God is funny sometimes. I think He's got to spend a lot of time laughing at me - lovingly, of course. He's got everything worked out, and all I have to do is surrender to His will. His plan is not always going to be easy...but it will lead me to eternal life.

It wasn't until Mass tonight that it really struck me how awesome and out of nowhere these past few weeks have been. It wasn't until I was standing in the Church of St. Augustine by the Sea in Waikiki, listening to the local choir singing to "Joyful, Joyful" that it hit me - He's got the whole thing worked out. And I get so caught up in worrying about everything that I forget to trust Him. I forget what I whisper in my heart the moment before receiving His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist - Jesus, I trust in You. He's bigger than all my worries put together, and wants nothing but my true, eternal happiness. And He offers me gifts here on Earth to foreshadow that happiness, to lead me deeper into relationship with Him, to help me fall deeper in love with Him.

And I am trying to trust, and not to worry. Trying to be still and not to lose myself in plans and fantasy.

First there is Fat Tuesday at our Newman Center Mardis Gras reverse happy hour. I am happy that night - talking to friends and seminarians about Lent, faith, religious life. Drinking a beer and eating pizza and just being glad to be Catholic. I think the first thing I said to him was something about the Nashville Dominicans and vocations to the religious life. And he sits next to me at one point and tells me his name, which I promptly forget. So five minutes later I ask him again. And it turns out that he's a grad student in biomedical engineering, studying deep brain stimulation. So we talk about the grad school and med school. And at some point I mention his Jerusalem cross, and he's surprised that I know what it is, and says that it's from a Kairos retreat, and he's wearing it again because his brother just did a retreat. And I mention JVC, and it turns out that he knows the FJVs here. And later we talk about Labre and being with people on the margins, and he says that what he'd really like to do is reach out to shut-ins - just go to their homes and visit and talk and pray. And I think - this boy is really cute. And really smart. And really Catholic. He walks me to my car and gets on his bike to ride home.

That Friday is our first Lenten dinner, and he says that at the end of our lives, everything is going to be taken away from us. And I am happy to see him, and happy to see our seminarian friends, and happy to eat and pray and be Catholic with other people.

Next Friday, J is visiting me - and then all of a sudden things are so different. I ask what people are doing after Newman, and he suggests we go across town to a local brewery. So J and I meet him at his car (blue Ford Escape) and follow him in my car (gray Ford Escape), stoping to pick up some friends of his from college and JVC. And we finally exchange phone numbers and he laughs at my inability to use my phone correctly, standing next to my car window.

The brewery is fun - FJVs that I met at the potluck earlier in the year and haven't seen since, and his friend M from college, who makes me wonder if they are dating. Everyone is talking and laughing and having a great time, and we end up back at his apartment to try his honey (he's a part-time beekeeper, it seems) on his walnut bread that I can't eat of course. And while he is in the kitchen toasting bread and spreading honey (because he says, I think they'll want it toasted), I stand in the doorway and we talk about research and the Society for Neuroscience meeting and Washington, DC, and I am just liking him so much. And I notice that above the doorway to his kitchen there is a crucifix - and I am liking him even more. But it's late and I am tired, so we all walk out to the cars so he can drive the other home. And he pops back to my window and says, just turn left at the light and it'll take you straight to the hospital, you don't need your GPS. And I manage to get us a little lost anyway, but the road does lead straight to the hospital, and we make it home.

A picture of us. But not a picture from that epic weekend.

The next night we go to the Catholic Worker storefront, because he and M have invited us to a salsa dancing event that's actually a fundraiser for a German volunteer going to El Salvador to be an election observer. And we hug and talk and I meet more FJVs and it's so, so, so wonderful. And we are partners for salsa dancing, and his hands are sweaty, and it is just so fun to dance with him. And later we talk and laugh and sit on the couch and he asks me if I like the orchestra, because his brother won an essay contest and has two free tickets that he doesn't want, so he has them and is looking for someone to go with him and would I like to go? And of course I say yes. And later there is karaoke at a dive bar nearby, and seeing old friends again after so many months, and singing our hearts out out to Bon Jovi, and he plays pool because he says that late at night all he wants to do is play pool.

He leaves his bag in my car that night, so we meet at the med school on Monday, the third floor, outside the library. And we walk over to the parking building trying to get the stickers that let you just drive into the garages, and we talk and laugh so naturally. It's such fun to be with him. And we make plans for the orchestra on Thursday night.

Before that there is reflective writing, learning objectives, OSCE and a portfolio to finish. But it all gets done, and Thursday comes along finally.

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And the rest...the rest is history. And perhaps to be recorded at a later date...